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Teaching of the month - Jun 2021

DEVELOP AND IMPROVE ONE’S AFFINITY WITH OTHERS

KuanYin-q15

How does one get to be likable by others? Why are some who seem to have no affinity with others? How often do people put some thoughts to their natures that may determine their happiness?

OM SARI HUM

It is not the imperfection of creation that so many are likable and loved by others while a great many are not. The thorough understanding of the Law of Karma and Rebirth provides all the clues to attaining the likable nature. There is no one to be blamed for one’s own situations in life, no God may be criticised for having been responsible for giving some the advantage of likable good qualities while others are attributed with all the bad qualities that are objectionable to others. Each person has all the tendencies of being good and evil, it is entirely up to him to develop his own likability. Each one is therefore responsible to himself and should be aware of all the negative qualities that will make him disliked by others so that they are not practised.

Rebirth is necessary so that each being is given the opportunity to perfect all the virtues over countless lifetimes. This has to be so otherwise those who are born into conditions that are not suitable for cultivation are not created fairly, or those who die as babies and do not have the chance to develop themselves are lost and wasted, and then creation would have been imperfect.

One should realise that a likable nature is part of the result of his own past qualities which can be further developed. You will come across children whom everyone takes to with great affection because they have been endowed with affinity while there are others whom people avoid. Most of the time those who are born with a pleasing face or personality attract the love, friendship and sympathy of others. It is said that such people have practised kindness themselves in past lives so that they are attributed with fine forms and pleasing natures. But this does not mean that those who are born ugly have been evil in the past. One must also understand that being born with such a great advantage is a great blessing so that he will pursue to improve himself or he may develop bad practices which result in inner ugliness as reflected by his speech and actions. It is not uncommon to see physically attractive persons who have lost their attractiveness because of their bad natures. Since nothing is permanent, one must always guard one’s good qualities and avoid picking up bad ones.

How are your conduct and behaviour? Are they obnoxious or are they pleasing to others? Are you the moody one who demands attention all the time? Do you fall into ugly moods easily? Remember well that your face reveals every change of feeling. Do you speak well of others or do you have the bad habit of speaking ill of others quite naturally? One must be ever on guard against developing unpleasant qualities which repel others. To develop a likable nature, great effort must be exercised. One has to be genuine in one’s feelings, be thoughtful and sincere at all times and to be interested in the feelings and well-being of others so that those about you will feel wanted and loved. When others come to you for sympathy do you have the patience and understanding to attend to them and are you capable of keeping their private sorrows to yourself? Can you retain calmness instead of being quarrelsome whenever someone criticises you? Are you filled with ego and self-centredness? Practise unselfishness and be ready to be of service to others. Also practise consideration in your speech and actions - the keys to developing attractiveness. No one likes to hear harsh words nor does anyone enjoy being forced to accept your opinions. Practise thoughtfulness, be what you expect others to be. Be kind, humble, pleasing in speech and actions, be gentle, be aware of the feelings of others and you will soon become a magnet that draw others to you. Be ready to share whatever you have with others; a stingy person is one who lacks compassion and there are many who will only practise charity in their thoughts. Be ready to change for the better and this calls for self-analysis so that you are fully aware of your own ugliness. If you cannot discover what is ugly within yourself, you will only see ugliness in others, you will be a very neglected person who is cold, critical and unforgiving.

The spiritual path offers one the way to the realisation of one’s own weaknesses so that one will go about removing all the ugliness that are within. It offers one with the methods of self-purification which will eventually lead to the developing of a pleasing nature that will draw others to oneself. The path of Kuan Shih Yin leads one to develop the joy in living for others, to care for others, to be interested in their welfare!

Tuesday, 13th November 1984 (10th Moon 21st Day)

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